Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Today is not a good day...

Today is not a good day.  I hesitate to share this with you - I want to keep positive, but I also want to keep real.  And perhaps, by writing down my confession, I can get my head in order.
I did not sleep well, despite going to bed early and leaving baby boy sleeping in his 'downstairs' cot with Daddy until they decided to join me.  Cue interruption to sleep number one to feed baby at 11.30pm.  This is followed by our usual routine of baby boy waking about six times in the night for a feed.  I am barely conscious during these feeds, but it still affects my sleeping patterns and I am tired, tired, tired when I wake finally to find Daughter 2 has joined us in bed.  It's 7.30am, so it's not unreasonable, but still.  Thank goodness I don't need to get the children ready for school, but breakfast must be served - even if it is just cereal and they can put most of it together themselves.

They have been pretty good today, but I have been impatient anyway.  I go away on Thursday, and I am conscious that there is loads of washing to be done, the house needs to be tidied, and although my husband doesn't join me until Saturday, if I don't get organised and leave strict instructions for the intervening days we will return to a house that will look like it's been ransacked by burglars.  I am not good at housework at the best of times, and the mantra of doing things when you see them doesn't work for me - if I pick up the toys on the floor as I walk past they will be back there within an hour.  So, I have been leaving things until tomorrow, when at least I can leave behind me the memory of a tidy house.  As a result my mood has not been great, and every time something has been spilt or broken today (i.e. egg dropped on the step on the way in from the chicken coop) I have overreacted.

Something else is playing on my mind.  My husband is picking up some bookmarks I have ordered printed to advertise my business today, and once more I am conscious of spending (and wasting) his hard earned money on my brilliant business idea that has failed to yield any kind of result!  He doesn't say anything, but I feel so guilty that I seem to be throwing good money after bad and I am disheartened.

And then there is the poo... sorry, but it's a fact of my life at the moment.  Today, the air is filled with that lovely country smell when they muck spread on the fields.  It will have settled tomorrow, but today it permeates everything and I am tired of it.  And then, my darling two year old, who refuses to wear nappies any more despite pleas of desperation, pooed in the nappy I forced on her for her nap, removed said nappy, smeared poo all over herself some how, wrapped herself in a blanket and fallen asleep.  To be woken by me - bad mummy who ignored her pleas to get up - carried to the bath and showered - which she hates.  And this has meant more washing.
And now the children are gathering their belongings, including the kitchen sink to pack for our holiday.  Please STOP!!!!
I think I need to start this day again and plan a big trip out somewhere.  We'll try again tomorrow.

1 comment:

  1. Oh no :( sounds like a bad one.
    Here are some virtual hugs... Days like this one are just ones that needs to be over, and it will be better tomorrow (or the day after that...).


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